“Slight mix-up” as Saudi government bombs St. James’ Park and buys Yemen

The Saudi Arabian government has today accepted the blame for a historic mistake after they accidentally bombed St. James’ Park, the home of Newcastle United. This came after it was announced that the Saudi-led takeover of Newcastle’s football team had fell through.

Speaking on the accidental bombing campaign, Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman has claimed “there was a slight mix-up on our part, I’ll be the first to admit that. You guys know how these things go.”  

Citizens of Newcastle are bewildered with the latest development in the takeover saga. One local man, Neil Waylike, told The Lampoon he’s “devastated. Absolutely devastated. I know the takeover didn’t go through, but this is a bit much like. In fact, we’re in an even worse situation than we were before. Heartbroken man. I’m heartbroken.”

Even more bewildered at the news are the citizens of Yemen. One man from the Yemeni capital of Sana’a, who wished to remain anonymous, told local press that “the mood here is weird at the moment. On the positive side, due to the Saudi investment, we’re now favourites for the 2022 World Cup. That’s pretty good I suppose.”

The Lampoon has journalists on the ground in Newcastle, ready to bring our readers any further twists in the takeover saga.

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