In a revelation that has shaken the foundations of British politics, Boris Johnson recently confirmed that his favourite Starfleet captain is Captain Benjamin Sisko.
“I mean…really?” Andrew Marr asked the Prime Minister, following his admission. “Look…obviously, it’s better than Archer: nobody’s disputing that. But do you honestly believe that this is the kind of talk that will boost the morale of the British people?”
The public’s view became clear days later, as an emergency opinion poll launched by the BBC revealed that the Conservatives’ approval ratings had dropped to under 28%. Comments made to The Toon Lampoon websites have made it clear that the Prime Minister may have made yet another costly mistake.
“I just can’t believe he said it,” writes Dan Maddox, 35. “If you want to get up to that sort of thing in the privacy of your own home, then I’m not trying to police that. But it’s quite another thing to stand up in front of the nation, bold as brass, and say that Sisko is the best captain that Star Trek has to offer.”
Meanwhile, even the Prime Minister’s Conservative colleagues are signalling disapproval over the controversial statement.
“It is, sadly, another sign of the Prime Minister’s occasional lapses of judgement,” said Conservative MP E. Tonian. “I mean…when you think of those in Starfleet possessing the inherent qualities necessary for command, you think of Kirk, Picard, Archer, and maybe Janeaway if your leadership contest collapses into a mess of backstabbing, scandal, and Leadsom. I don’t see how Boris can reconcile his membership of this party and his belief that someone like Benjamin Sisko is a better leader than those four and, frankly, I’d not be surprised to see him forced to resign over it.”
If you have strong feelings about this issue, or you would like to tell us and others about your own favourite Starfleet captain, The Toon Lampoon would like to invite you to read the room and keep your alternate continuity fanfiction to yourself, you goddamn nerd.