Opinion: Valentine’s Day is for friends too, I just don’t have those either

Hi, I’m here to write an opinion piece, because who needs journalism based on facts?

Usually, our editorials take their cues from the press releases BP Oil send us, but today, we’ve been allowed an entire independent thought.

Don’t worry though, we won’t get greedy: too many baseless opinions and we’d have to move continents, to start jobs at The Washington Post.

Here at The Lampoon, we reject the idea that Valentine’s Day should only concern romantic relationships. After all, love can take many forms, like the love a father has for a child, or the love our editors have for Valium.

Moreover, those types of love are permanent. You can’t make them go away, like accusations of forging Valium prescriptions.

It makes sense, then, that the holiday celebrating love should be for all love. Love between friends in particular is sacred and moving, presumably.

As such, the editorial staff at The Lampoon resolves to celebrate friendship just as much as romance, as soon as we experience either.

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