Women in collective sigh of relief after Ian from Slough says ‘not all men’

Women across the country have today been able to breathe easier after Ian, a single 57 year old from Slough, took it upon himself to tell women that not all men are potential threats to their safety/ lives.

We spoke to one woman who wished to remain nameless about the development: ‘I am so delighted Ian has told me that not all men are threats. At night when I traveled home I would have my keys wedged between my fingers ready to gouge at a potential attacker. Now I keep my keys in my bag. I owe it to Ian, my hero’.

Another woman, Kirsty had this to say: ‘Ian has single-handedly ended violence against women. I would give him the Nobel Peace Prize. Absolute gem of a man. He can wolf-whistle me any day, especially as sexual harassment is now gone!’

Ian went on to say in his poorly written Facebook post that ‘back in [his] day, women were far more open to advances from men. Now they don’t want to speak to [him] when [he] starts walking next to them in a dark and secluded area. Make women polite again!!!’ was his finishing remark.

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