Kidnapped teen’s possessions include a dildo you could murder a horse with

Speaking at a press conference regarding the ongoing manhunt for missing Newcastle teen, Karen Smike, police revealed the presence of a sex toy capable of menacing an entire third world country.

“This is an unexpected and unfortunate find,” DS Les B. Avenue told the media. ”The feeling of the team is that, really, we went into this whole situation a bit too eagerly.”

“You get this idea of a sweet, innocent young woman who’s still got so much of her life left to live, and then this…this thing rises up like a leviathan from the depths, leaving you wondering whether she even wants to be found.”

Karen’s mother and father have beseeched the constabulary and the wider community not to abandon their hunt for their daughter, while acknowledging that her life holds less meaning following this revelation of her healthy sexual appetites.

Featured image: Studio10-27 on Pixabay

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