About us

Newcastle University’s premier satire publication!

A team of shameless drones working like dogs around the clock to bring you the latest in completely ‘real’ and completely unbiased news about Newcastle and the world beyond. Like most news outlets, the Toon Lampoon is pure satire and should not be treated as genuine news.

Any similarities to real people or places in our “fictional” articles are completely coincidental. Don’t try to sue us, all of our dads are lawyers and you will lose.

Our team

Due to a series of unfortunate events and complete misunderstandings in Yugoslavia during the ’90s, the large majority of our team is unable to publish under their real names, at least until certain completely unwarranted war crime charges are dropped. The rest of our team are either paranoid schizophrenics and do not wish to disclose their identities or simply are ashamed to be associated with our fine publication, and would rather work from the shadows. We do have an intern named Gary, though, we think. No one’s seen him for a while after he was sent out to source Ayahuasca for a pitch meeting, but we’re sure he’s alright.


Truly the greatest satirical publication of our time.” – Ian Hislop

There’s clearly no need for us anymore!” – The Courier

When I first read the Toon Lampoon, I wept. Never has journalism seen such integrity.” – The Guardian

Get the hell out of my office.” – Chris Day