Sport

People who run blogs are famously good at sports

We don’t like to blow our own trumpet, but we know a thing or two about sports. Here, you can expect searing analysis of football, tennis, and even the one with the bat.


St James’ Park pre-emptively installed with ‘glory hunting twats’ stand

Fans have spotted a ‘glory hunting twats’ stand being installed at St James’ Park, a struggling community centre in the north east of England. This follows the acquisition of Newcastle United Football Club by Saudi Arabia, the world’s least sexually liberated sugar daddy. A spokesperson for the club swam through piles of money being dumped … Continue reading St James’ Park pre-emptively installed with ‘glory hunting twats’ stand

Inspiring: Toon Lampoon 5-a-side team refuses to join European Super League

The Toon Lampoon’s 5-a-side team has taken the bold stance of refusing any offer to participate in the new European Super League. Critics have suggested the move is motivated less by principle and more by the fact that The Toon Lampoon doesn’t have a 5-a-side team. The Lampoon has rebutted that if only actual teams … Continue reading Inspiring: Toon Lampoon 5-a-side team refuses to join European Super League

Local man just happy to be understanding football talk

A local man has admitted to being satisfied just understanding football talk for once. This followed all his friends being devastated at a development in football just novel enough for him to get away with asking stupid questions. The man agreed to talk to The Lampoon’s sport reporter, a retired football hooligan. “I’m delighted,” he … Continue reading Local man just happy to be understanding football talk