Woman forced to read man’s fucking life story to get muffins recipe

I’ve always loved satire articles. When I was a boy in Sicily, my grandma used to make satire articles for our entire family.

Today, most satire articles are store-brought from satire chains, which I always find disheartening. Sure, it’s easier to get your snarky jabs at Boris Johnson from a big multinational satire company, but ask yourself: is it cheaper? The answer is no. At The Lampoon, we pride ourselves on how cheap our jokes are.

That’s why we make our spoofs, hot takes, and not-so-subtle digs from scratch, every day. A small, dedicated team, we’re proud to call ourselves a local business. We operate out of a sex shop right in the city centre, where we hot-desk with a BDSM dominatrix, just like grandma did.

Okay, now on with the article.

*Clears throat*

A local man inspired the ire of bakers everywhere today by putting too much emphasis on CHARACTER LIMIT EXCEEDED